Grief Club: The Podcast with Addison Brasil
Inspired by his bestselling book, First Year of Grief Club: A Gift From A Friend Who Gets It, Addison Brasil uses the experiments and offerings as a launching point for deeper conversations with friends and experts. Equal parts "honour the journey" and "find the funny," this is for real people navigating real-life grief. You in? Stay tuned for all things mental health, resilience, comedy, mindset, and life after-loss ideas. (mygriefclub.com)
This podcast is for you if you if you have ever searched: How to deal with grief? Where can I get grief support? What are the 5 stages of grief and are they real? How does grief affect mental health?How do I cope with grief and loss? What are some common myths about grief and how can I debunk them? How long does it take to recover from grief What are some healthy ways to deal with grief? How can I support someone who is grieving? What is complicated grief and how is it different from normal grief? What are the physical symptoms of grief and how can I manage them? How can I find a grief support group or counselor? Why does grief hurt so bad?
Grief Club: The Podcast with Addison Brasil
Non-Death Related Grief, Relationships and Mindset Mastery with Jenifer Merifield
Have you ever found solace in music during times of heartbreak and grief? Jenifer Merifield returns to the show and starts by sharing the song that helps her honour her grief. This episode sees is all about navigating the emotional landscapes of non death related grief, loss and heartbreak.
Delving into the intricacies of relationship and dating grief, we tackle the unique perspectives of the one grieving and the one initiating the break-up, a topic seldom explored with such depth. This conversation presents a roadmap of the heart, taking us through strategies to cope with inundating emotions, rumination, ghosting and the necessity of maintaining self-worth irrespective of others' actions. Want to know how to weather challenging moments and remain present and at your best? We've got you covered.
We didn't stop there. We also unfold the power of connecting with emotions and the body for physical relaxation and healing. Emphasizing the significance of intuition and communication in relationships, we unlock secrets to navigate modern dating and relationship challenges. From setting boundaries to seeking support and even ending friendships, we share it all.
Where Can I Find More of Jen?
www.jenifermerifield.com
Hosted By: Addison Brasil
Author of First Year Of Grief Club: A Gift From A Friend Who Gets It
www.mygriefclub.com
@sharemygriefclub
@addisonbrasil
I'm Addison, brazil. Reef Club. The podcast starts now. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Reef Club the podcast. Today we have a very special guest returning, somebody that you all love as much as I seem to. I want to start off by welcoming back to the show Jennifer Merrifield.
Speaker 2:Hello, so great to be here Welcome back.
Speaker 1:Thank you. I mean the stats and the comments and the responses don't lie. You are definitely a favorite over here in Reef Club, the podcast and obviously you know that you're one of my most favorite people on earth, so I'm so excited that we're doing this and we're coming back. Before I get too excited, let's have our listeners and us drop in and do an emotional check-in. In one word, how are you feeling physically right now?
Speaker 2:Calm but a little like excited jittery.
Speaker 1:I was going to say jittery.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:In one word how are you feeling mentally right now?
Speaker 2:Hmm, mentally It's like a Friday mental feeling.
Speaker 1:I say excited, and in one word, how are you feeling emotionally?
Speaker 2:Oh, just happy, open heart. I love our conversations.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say connected and grateful. Already I'm cheating Two words for Jen.
Speaker 2:Love it Hey.
Speaker 1:So we have had you on the show before, which I urge any of our new listeners to go back and listen to that episode, because you honored your journey on that episode and we really dug deep into your story before we got into all the wisdom bites that you were so generous with. The next two weeks what I'm doing because there's this week in the book where I urge everyone to connect with a poem or a quote that helps them through their grief, and so, since you've already been on the show and honored your journey, i thought that we would kick off by doing just that as well and let you share your home or quote or song lyrics that connects you with your grief and then maybe talk a little bit about why you chose to share it.
Speaker 2:Okay, we'll do so. I'm going to read it. It's it's from the Beatles. It's got some song lyrics from the song in my life And it was originally dedicated to my dad when he passed away, come on like 19 years ago, and I find that it applies to anyone who I love who's passed. So there, i'm not going to sing it unless you want to sing with me, addison, okay, okay, i'll just say it, and every unit all sing along in your head. It's great song, as I remember all my life, though some have changed, some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain. All these places have their moments with lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living in my life. I've loved them all, but of all these friends and lovers, there is no one compares with you, and these memories lose their meaning when I think of love as something new. I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them in my life. I love you more.
Speaker 1:Love that.
Speaker 3:Yes, me too I never heard that.
Speaker 2:I need to listen to this song now, because I'm not singing that.
Speaker 1:What's the song called In My Life, in My Life, by the Beatles?
Speaker 2:Yes, Yeah, Betmizler also sings a version of it.
Speaker 1:Okay if you're feeling it, if you're down with her, yeah. If you're down for a little bit, yeah. Tell me a little bit about why that song and why you shared it today.
Speaker 2:It's just, i feel like it's kind of like clearing through the fog of things, like coming down to the simple of. you know what's it all about. you know places and things and people and all the memories and all the and it's the, but I love you more. It's just that it's the. it's for me it's like taking the essence of a person And, like I said, it was originally dedicated to my dad. I played it with his eulogy at his funeral But since then, when I think of, like my grandmothers or any friends who have passed, it just feels like it matches everybody. So I don't have to have, like you know, 20 songs on my like remembering those I love playlist. It's just, you know that one really really sums it up.
Speaker 1:I love that Thank you And I love that now, when I listen to it and the listeners listen to it, it's connected in a different way. I was going to share my Benjamin Button quote but everyone's heard it so many times and it's in the book, but I just, i always go back to it and I'll just remind you know what.
Speaker 1:Why not a little reading? Yeah, Let me just pull up this book For what it's worth. It's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit. Stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.
Speaker 2:More goosebumps. Yeah, i can't, it's so funny how that still affects me every time Wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you need something that loud, has so much power when someone else is listening. Yeah, that's just always. I'm just sure that's what my dad would say to me, and so it's just it's weird when I hear it. I hear the parts of his voice in my voice, like it just the frequency of it all.
Speaker 1:Oh that's beautiful. I've read it a few times, like down in Baha, because there's always a day where we share like music and lyrics or quotes that like really affect us. And it's just so interesting that I like think, oh, it's a throwaway. I've read it and seen it so many times. in the second I start to read it, it's like the vibration is just.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it just resonates with everything Sacred and beautiful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really nice And like, and that was kind of the point of the experiment in the book was this idea of is there something, to use your terminology, where you get to choose both, where you're honoring someone but it also, you know, empowers you and makes you feel close to what's been lost or who's been lost? And it's this, this. There's certain songs and lyrics and poems where, by listening to them or being in them, you're completely honoring deep, achy grief but also feeling supported by it all in one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:If you have that, i urge anyone listening to to pull someone aside or call them and read it out loud and say I'm just going to read you this thing, because it is very different when it's heard. I feel like work, send it to me, i'll play it on on the podcast. But yeah, send it to me. Or just the practice of doing that. I just think it's very special If nothing comes to mind. What a cool experiment as well to start to think about what is that balance for you? What, if what is the quote or song that gives you that feeling of both and kind of acknowledging it and bringing it into your tool kit. I am again to use things that you've taught me. You know we've talked about on this podcast, i think before too, but the idea of setting a timer when you're feeling emotional and allowing it, you know, allowing it to happen. I think we were talking about pity parties at the time, but yeah, but allowing it to happen.
Speaker 1:And I feel like by listening to songs I can do that, and I actually just heard this. I did a live event with Justin Michael Williams last week and apparently there's. It's now proven scientifically that if you're feeling sad and you listen to a happy song to try to change your mood, you actually end up feeling worse. If you honor it and listen to sad music and allow it, you end up feeling much better. It allows it to process and to feel the feelings and for it to dissipate. So I thought and you know, of course I was like, you know, with everything in extremes it's like yeah, but not three days of late, miss, you know one song I'm gonna get back out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and that has a lot to do with really honoring the sadness, right. So it's not like rug sweep clothes, you know, ignore, pretend it's not there. It's really recognizing like like I'm gonna feel it, i'm gonna feel everything I feel. And then the choose both part to bring that back is, you know, but how can I also choose life and living, and you know, feeling good and you get to have both. There's no should is. you know, the feeling guilty for being happy when there's grief present.
Speaker 1:You can have both. Sometimes there's just such a need for a nonverbal way of honoring, you know, and by like listening to music or like sitting within a song being saturated by sound for that four minutes. It's almost like a therapy session. Sometimes nothing needs to be said, no one else needs to be included, it's just all happening with you and for you, and I just, i love that. We sometimes forget that. It's not always, doesn't always have to be expressed verbally, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, exactly, i think that's well said. Yeah, even just the like when you said earlier about playing the song for someone else or reading a poem or whatever is you being witnessed by someone else in that moment, knowing that that's so special for you and then being able to see another depth or another way into what's going on for you, it's kind of it's really special.
Speaker 1:It is. You know what else is special.
Speaker 2:I can't. I just love you so much, i can't. I love you too.
Speaker 1:I'm going to try to be okay. Well, i'm really going to behave because I haven't done this before, but it's just been coming up nonstop lately And I went through a little bit. This is part of the reason I wrote the book. I went through, as you know, a little bit with this with coven.
Speaker 1:Of course there were a lot of deaths in the pandemic time and whatnot, but but really for the first time I felt like I wasn't isolated by grief, because everybody was just mourning the loss of what was meaningful to them, whether it was the right to gather, work, relationships and whatever it was. I had that palpable feeling and it's kind of resurging a little bit in my life, like everybody has sort of been in a similar frequency where they're they're really struggling and sharing with me that they're they're struggling with non death related grief. This has come up so much and you know how these things happen, where it's completely unrelated but everyone's talking about the same thing. Every time you go to coffee and you're just like and it was that same feeling I got during the pandemic where I'm like, oh my gosh, everybody's grieving and they don't know the word for it.
Speaker 1:They don't, they don't know what they're feeling, and this is a special type of brief and that's why I wanted you to help me unravel this, because I have said over the years many times that when somebody dies you're up against the hard wall of that reality, and on this show we've even learned the neuroscience of that and how that works. But at the end of the day, that can't be reversed, it cannot be changed, and the fact that that is unchangeable does in a way allow the growth that's necessary to continue on. Because if there was anything I could do and I mean anything to have my brother or my father here right in this moment, still at this day, i would do it. But because that's not possible you know the sort of Aladdin genie rules of it all can't bring somebody back. You know that's one of the wishes you can't wish.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know there's. So I went through these very, you know, trying sort of grief Olympic trials that everybody witnessed and everybody was always like I just can't imagine. I can't imagine but at the same time, both in my own life and the people around me, you know, i was with me and we're witnessing all these losses where the person wasn't dying, so like in dating and relationships or even work relationships and friendships, and something's very different when there's not a death, because the grief is different and the belief that you could do something, change in some way, show up differently to change the result, to get rid of the grief, to get the person back. I think that, thrown in a pot with us being gifted social media, well, we were developing, you know, specifically my generation really rode the wave of that like sort of every bit of technology, like first ones to do high school with cell phones. We were the exclusive Facebook groups when it was just for college. We were the first ones there, first ones getting Instagram out of that. Like you know, it was right. When we're like, doing what we were told generally, generationally would be a very different type of dating. It just didn't exist anymore And I feel like it. I'm going to keep it around dating, but I think all of this will relate to anything that's like non death rate loss and how we process it.
Speaker 1:But it does seem to be the thing that people are struggling most with, whether it's like things that that don't come to fruition, or whether it's with things that are a breakup where they've had a relationship and they can't seem to get over it. And I'm just, i'm sitting back and I'm just really interested in what you have to say about this because, again, i'm sitting there going. Yeah, it's different grief, though, because I can see people really trying to shift and change and post and recalibrate themselves to see if maybe the grief could be taken back or reversed because the person that they've lost or the relationship they've lost they're actually in the same town. They could go beg for the pain to go away. And I never hear about this, like no one's talking about this kind of grief, like in the space, you know, and it's such a real heart-wrenching grief.
Speaker 1:And it's so different when there's a part of your mind that believes you know, there's a way we could. We could get rid of this grief, maybe if you were different, maybe if you changed, maybe if you weren't this. You know, and I know, and you know I'm not gonna bullshit the person who has all my competences in her mind. You know, i've obviously, as we all have, struggled with this immensely, absolutely. Yeah, we have. So I'm just what comes up for you when I say all that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so many things come up And I think this is a great topic to be talking about because it's you know, it's in one side of it it's not really talked about. In another side it's really talked about, but so Incessantly with no solutions.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so the key is when it is being talked about, what angle is it coming from? And if it's not resolving anything, then clearly that's the pattern that we get to dig and, you know, take apart to come to like are we, we're not gonna find a solution? looking at it from the same direction all the time And notice also the part about the one who's grieving is the one who's been broken up with, usually because you talked about grieving the person who's still out there, right, whereas the person who does the breaking up is generally the grief is more around the lack and the being alone, not necessarily the person, because maybe you know they've chosen not to be with the person anymore With me so far.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, And I'm glad you highlighted that, because there's grief on that side too And I know that people if making that choice is not easy to walk away and they're still really careful.
Speaker 2:No, it's not. Yeah, so we wanna honor, like every position, both sides. Yeah, absolutely, and we can talk more about that side of the grief as well, but we, i'm gonna highlight that right before I say it.
Speaker 1:So just a reminder to everyone that both people are grieving, not just one of us. I'm just gonna say that out loud so it resonates. That's a really big reminder that it's a really big big, big grief.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's, but the grief is very different. And so when it comes to another point that you made about, you know, changing to maybe get that relationship back, that, i think, is a really important piece to Let's just whoa, let's just lean back a little bit, because ever notice how you know you have a relationship and there's a certain way it goes, and then you find yourself in another relationship And it's like why do I keep having? this always shows up in my relationship. Whenever there's a pattern, always notice that you're the common denominator. So what is it? Because we can't. These are all different people, but they're similar patterns. We can't change anybody else as much as we try and want to. But what we can change is ourselves.
Speaker 2:And the first step is the perspective of looking at it. What's my part in it? Even if you know this person was this negative way or did these terrible things or whatever, okay, so maybe my part in it is boundaries and allowing it, or codependency, or you know, we could go into all these different things, but to say what can I do to get that person back is now the change that you're wanting to make for yourself, is for that person, it's for external validation And then, should you end up with that person back, you're gonna fall back into your comfort of who you are And the problems are gonna come back up again. The challenges are gonna show up And you're gonna wonder why? why are we having this fight or this conversation, or why are we back here again? So to lean back and go who do I wanna be? What is it about this person? Forget about who the person is. What is it about the relationship? What is it about the person that I want so bad? Is it the person? Is it something about the person? Is it something because we can get really clear on where's the lack? that? because grief is a feeling of lack. It's part of grief anyway. There's a feeling of lack. What do I feel like I'm lacking, and where can I first find that within myself And then be more the magnet, be the attractor of that as well?
Speaker 2:So, for instance, if so, in my practice everyone's in a while I'll have someone say my existing partner, spouse, whatever is like, let's tell off the things that are not good about them, and I would prefer a person who is this, this and this and this and this, and so I'll say, okay, wonderful. So you're very clear on what you want and prefer, and that's great. Clarity is amazing. Let's just say your existing person was not in the picture. Let's just say they weren't just for integrity reasons.
Speaker 2:And let's say that person that you just described, who you love so much and want so much, showed up right now. Are you ready to receive that person? And usually nine out of 10 times they say oh, no, no, no, wait a second, gotta lose a few pounds. I gotta increase my finances, gotta be this, be this, be this. So notice it's the external where most of the focus is. If we say like it's great to know what you want, but then always come back to am I the person that's gonna receive? that Ain't gonna be an alignment to receiving that anyway. And if not, go be that person first.
Speaker 1:I love that So beginning to shift the focus because it's all sitting externally of what are they doing and what can I do to get a reaction out of them, that sort of thing.
Speaker 2:That's more of a codependency kind of angle of things. right, Right When that's happening.
Speaker 1:So I had, like one person say and very, very bright person, a very emotionally intelligent person and very aware that he said he understands all of this logically but just wakes up with that like dread feeling of I'll do anything to get rid of this grief feeling And so that sort of dichotomy of I get it I've had a gen in my life I get the concepts, but I just will do anything to stop feeling, and I think we're talking about, like physically and emotionally obviously, that sort of overwhelm, even when you're going. I know this isn't healthy, i know I don't even want this. I just want it back so I don't feel this pain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so what I would say is when this person says I'll do anything to not have this feeling, okay, so I'm going to say, okay, so let's explore what you can do then. So what are you doing? So let's say, okay, that moment of feeling, that overwhelm, what's leading up to that? Where's your mind at, where's your body at? Where's your emotions at? What do you? and when that happens, what do you do mind, body, emotions to shift that?
Speaker 2:Because generally what we do is we stay in it and we one thought leads to the next, and that our thoughts create our feelings and our reactions and so on and so on, and we end up just getting really heavy and in like an action paralysis kind of place where we're just like floating in this bubble of despair And it's very hard to get out unless we prepave meaning. when we're feeling like in a time like now, we're comfortable, we're clear in our mind and we choose. if this happens, i can do this, take it out of it, or to refocus. If this feels like this, i can do this instead Because in the moment of, in those moments of like emotional pain, physical pain, we lose. it's sort of like the fight or flight kind of analogy, we lose our ability to rationally think and strategize and whatever We're in the, in the depths of those emotions and feelings, and physical and emotional and that we it's very, it very much narrows our capacity to make choices. We will do what we need to do to survive in that moment, versus let's consider, let's strategize.
Speaker 2:So if you prepave, if you do the strategizing and the figuring out in advance, then you know, say, for instance, a certain song, we'll trigger you talking about songs, don't listen to the song, stop the song, because that'll just take you down and keep you there. If, for instance, i know, for some people, if it's like oversleeping or watching TV, next thing they're kind of like lying down, that position feels like sad, feels like so get up, move around, what can you do? What, like knowing in advance what actions you can take, then when you're in the moment, you don't have to figure it out. you'll connect to what did I say I was gonna do at this moment And you have your answer because you created it. It's not someone saying, ah, you should, you'll be fine, come on. why don't you just do this or that? You know what actually works for you.
Speaker 1:Got it. And what's the balance of knowing when you know I'm meant to feel this, i'm gonna sit in it, versus like this is now a pattern where I'm just like falling into this again and again, like as far, because if you went right away into just getting up and moving every time you sort of think of your ex or somebody who ghosted you or whatever you know, then there's a part of me that goes like denial.
Speaker 2:Dealing with it. yeah, exactly, Yeah, the denial, yeah.
Speaker 1:What does that balance look like?
Speaker 2:And that's a great question, and so that's for you to say okay. So at what point of me thinking of my ex does it get to a place where I'm starting to, i'm starting to be a nod in a healthy place? now It's not serving me today or in that moment, or so, yeah, i can think about my ex, for you know this amount of time, but once I start doing these behaviors or noticing that I'm like you feel in the blank, like what is it for this person? that are the behaviors that say, okay, it's time to knock it off, Like what are you gonna do instead?
Speaker 1:Right gotcha. I love that.
Speaker 2:Another great thing is declarations, and I do this with my clients all the time, so we know what affirmations are. Affirmations are I'll just do the obvious one where it's like I am a millionaire, I'm a millionaire, but with affirmations there's that little voice that goes bullshit, no, you're not. So it kinda, like you know, cancels each other out. So a declaration is when you say something so, for instance, i prefer to be a millionaire and then your inner voice is like oh, yeah, actually, yeah, that's true, okay, i'm gonna go over here, and so you align with the frequency of how that feels. So a declaration in a moment that you could use when you're stressing or missing someone or feeling bad about yourself, is what can you say that will help you feel better instantly. And it's personal for everyone.
Speaker 2:One thing that this is like my favorite declaration of all that I share with everybody, because it just covers everything, is anytime I worry, something amazing happens And it's just a great little like oh, okay, it snaps me out of yeah, i'm worrying again, i'm stressing again, or anytime.
Speaker 2:Every time I'm stressed, something amazing happens And it's just like having that faith in okay, yeah, something always does come good out of things. But then the more you say that even better things come, but say, for instance, your concern with this person is that they dwell in thoughts about their ex. So what is it they want? when they get clear on, they want love, they want partnership, they want fill in the blank. So in those moments if we say, if we say some affirmation like my ex is going to come back to me, there's that doubt that shows up. We want to not have the doubt, so instead, love always finds me right Or I am worthy of love, i am lovable and desirable. You know something like that where it's like, yeah, okay, that feels like a nice little hug, that's uplifting. You're not going now into denial and doubt and subconsciously listing off all the ways that it's never going to happen.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I love that And really finding, i think, what works for you and what feels honest and true is the key for me and still continues to be. I still use so much of our work in that sense of, especially for me, intentionally setting what's happening right before I go to sleep with something that you taught me. And then, when I start my day, and what's really happening while I'm sleeping in terms of it being restorative and restful, and I literally say that while I'm sleeping, i'm recharging my natural frequency, which is optimal health, monetary wealth, loving and being loved unconditionally and showing up in the world. And so I set it almost like a Tesla part in the garage, charging And I say it out loud and I do it every night. And then I said I don't do it. It is so different. And you also taught me to say what time I'm going to wake up, and it's weird when it happens. When I said like I wake up feeling rested and ready for my day.
Speaker 1:at 6.59, one minute before the alarm goes off. And, like it happens, it's very it's very it's very trippy.
Speaker 1:It is So usually on the show. I have everyone ask the same question where I say if a child didn't know what the word grief meant, how would you explain it to them? Would you have answered in your episode in a beautiful way. So I thought it would be kind of cool because I'm noticing that we didn't all have the same parents, we didn't all learn about anything the same way, and that's something you just notice consistently and constantly at every coffee, every turn that we all didn't have. And I was thinking what about if you just took two minutes right now And like as if the concept is completely foreign for everybody? who's listening? inner child? we never got sat down by someone as loving and wise as you and explain like I'm a child, like what dating really is in terms of, like the quest for partnership.
Speaker 1:And prepare me for the world. Like you know. Like you know, sometimes it's good, it works, sometimes, you know, like that sort of like, can you explain to me in a way that maybe some of us never got to hear? I do want to say shout out to Nanny Kim. I did get to hear it in a way and I am so grateful for that. I call my mom Nanny Kim if anybody on the show doesn't know that now. Lovingly, because she was too young to be her mom so she looked like our Nanny. But yeah, if you would just take a couple of minutes, are you down for that?
Speaker 2:And just kind of yeah, I've no one that would ask me that Yeah, So what would?
Speaker 1:I say, set me up for the grief of it all, yeah and the joy of it all.
Speaker 2:But you know, yeah, Well, it's interesting because there's no, you know, yeah, i guess that's it. You know if there's presuming that it's going to be painful or you know, but it's. I would say, the more you love yourself, the more someone else is going to love you and see those parts about you. The more we protect our heart, the harder it is for people to really see who we are. And so when you choose someone that will use your word that you want to date, choose someone that you get to feel like yourself around, that you're not trying to make them like you, but you just know they like you, like it's already there. You feel that and you feel that for each other. And also that when people, when there's challenges because there's always challenges is to always remember that behavior is not who someone is, it's how they're feeling in the moment. Who someone is is what you fell in love with when you knew that I like this person because I get to be me with them and you know, and they get to be me with me, them with me, you got it on me. And so that when people are feeling off, either emotionally, mentally, physically, the way they handle things is not going to be in their normal, usual, best way because they're being affected by that. A big challenge in relationships is when we assume that it's about us when someone misbehaves out of their normal way and we take it personally and we get defensive and we judge them or we criticize them because they're not behaving the way that we need them to behave. And what we're forgetting in that moment and it's we all do it, everyone does it is we forget that there's other things affecting why. So if in a relationship, regardless of the other person's behavior, if you can just step back from your own emotions immediate emotions, because generally it's like whoa And lean back and say, huh, interesting, i wonder why What must be going on for them to justify this behavior? right now, and when we really understand where someone's coming from, we can. We can be the support, we can be what we would want them to be for us. When we're having our off moments, because we all make choices that we later go like oh shit, okay, wish I didn't say that. Do that, behave that way. But to have a person who can hold a space and go hey, what's going on? To have a backbone and to have boundaries, to say, okay, i'm on your side. Can we like let's dial this back, or can you say that in a way to know that I'm with you on this? I'm not the enemy, it's us against the problem versus you, against me right now, and really holding that space If we have.
Speaker 2:If we struggle with ourselves, with loving ourselves, with recognizing our own worth, we will more naturally take things personally when someone around us behaves in a way that feels like an attack or feels like rocks our boat, which is really. It's never about us. How we behave, how anyone behaves, is about the person who's doing the behaving always. So to detach yourself from that and hold a space. I love you. That's not okay, but I want to be here to help you get out of this. What do you need right now And within reason?
Speaker 2:So I think that's a big piece of it that really solves a lot of the battles that happen is the not taking it personally. And just like you said, your friend who said I get all the concepts but it's very hard to do it because in the moment is that overwhelm, and so it's again. it's the pre-paving, it's the how can I be the best version of me every day? What can I definitely like? exercise is so beneficial. What we eat is so beneficial to our clarity of our mind and our body That just gives us a boost to be more clear in a moment of challenge But also the taking the pause.
Speaker 2:In every situation you get the grumpy person at the grocery store, the rage driver, whatever is to rather than react, respond, take a little pause and go. Hmm, interesting curiosity. I wonder why. Because when we just assume and we react back, we make it about us. I mean, it's natural, it's just such a natural thing to do is to be hurt and to think it's about us when it really never is. And by stepping up and being the example, that's the best way to teach someone else how to treat us. Rather than saying you need to do this for me, just be the example of it And eventually it will become the natural way that people will receive you and treat you back in response. I don't know, did I go a little bit off the telling?
Speaker 1:I love it. I love it. I also like in like two sentences or less. I want to flip the question that I usually ask and ask if a child you know after we explained what grief was to a child. So this is blonde, six year old Addison, looking up at you and asking you what is, what does in love mean?
Speaker 2:I love the way I got goosebumps. So I would say In love is for me not something that I would use words to describe. I would say in love, when you're in love, you'll never ask if you're in love, you'll never question it, you'll never doubt it. You will feel it. You will feel it in a special way that you will know that's love for you. Whatever that is, wherever that is in your body, you can try to put words, we can try to put words. The most famous poets that ever there were have beautiful words for it. But there's a little feeling that's love for you and you'll know.
Speaker 1:I'm just picturing my godson going. But how, but why, but how?
Speaker 2:Okay, so then just say what do you love? What do you love right now? What would your godson say?
Speaker 1:Probably his mom and his sister.
Speaker 2:Okay, so what does that feel like? Yeah, puppies and things, right. What does that feel like? Where do you feel that? What does your face do when you think about love like that?
Speaker 1:Right now it works Right, yeah, so the smiles, the things So really like.
Speaker 2:If it's a child, help them. Get in touch with and we're not talking just about children here. I know I'm getting your behind the scenes what's going on here, but it's really getting in touch with. Because when we just come from the words, when we come from our thought and our logic, we try to rationalize or analyze what we think and all the words we've ever heard come in and try to create the chapter in the book, but go into your body and really connect and allow the emotion to happen. You know you've gone from logic to feeling, to your body, to frequency, to actual love, when you can't stop the physical reaction. So whether it's I'll see people do it like that the little smile, or you get a little tingle, or you just like things relax. You know your body relaxes And that's where you know okay, now you're into it.
Speaker 1:It makes sense and you get so much credit when, like, just doing that right now, i have to acknowledge that, you know, i did feel like a kid and I was trying to picture it as, as you were saying it, and, and, yes, like I can feel the way my face shifts and everyone can see it when I, when I tap into that frequency. But this feeling in my chest, this, this wholeness that I get when I'm able to really tap into that, and I recognize instantly, by flipping this question, that my grief is that scooped out, like it's the exact feeling, but it but to be able to access the fullness of it and be aware of, you know, the scoopedness of it, you know is, but but you just it felt full for that, for that second, while we talked about that and while we brought that up, and so just that awareness of like, how special that is, like that was very effective and to remember to go back into the body and like. You know that honoring whether that's feeling full or scooped out is a big part of this game, you know, and I understand it. I'm so glad we did that because the longing, the, the wanting to do or change or be anything, to have the full chest, not the scooped out one. You know, like of course.
Speaker 1:You know we'd shift and change and I just think that's that's really a really beautiful exercise to do and I've just been doing that a lot lately and trying to encourage other people when I speak to do that. A lot is like no, no, no, no, no you're. You're pretending, like you had this conversation at some point, that someone explained this to you, but they didn't. And I noticed, when I asked people that question of how they'd explain grief to a child or to themselves, they get stuck. They don't know their own personal definition. It's not something that's been discussed, it's just a concept that it has.
Speaker 2:It's such an essence, it's such a feeling, right. And here's the thing to when the when the words come up, because it's it's like you said, it's not something we really learn. So if words come up, then always ask Well, what does that word feel like? so when you say, oh, love feels full, okay, i feel full. Well, what does full feel like? How do you know your body is feeling full, versus scooped out, to use your terminology. Or if someone says it feels nice or it feels safe, well, what does that? so it feels safe. So what does safe actually feel like? right? So, to really connect with the body and you know, and you could use so with it, with the child, with your godson, you could say you know what does like, what does it, what does it not feel like? so, for instance, let me let me rephrase that Kids are so great with you know, when it's like Hey, meet this new person, they'll either like pull back a little bit or they'll be like Hi, and it's like.
Speaker 2:That's their intuition, and we have that too. But we also have a whole shitload of supposed to use to's better, be polite, better. You know this. Equals say hello. Equals do this, equals do this, whereas kids will be like I don't want to say hi or I don't like that, you know. Whereas, like good, rather than squash that and say that's not being polite, do this anyway. It's helping kids get in touch with their intuition of Oh, okay, okay, tell me about that.
Speaker 2:I'm not not necessarily just about other people, but so when you're out, like with in nature for instance, what are you drawn to and why? like what feels good, what feels comfortable, what doesn't? what do you feel? like? you know making choices every moment. Well, what was that that made you choose that over that? you know, coffee over tea, what was it that was a sense of what felt good for you, what?
Speaker 2:So just ask yourself to define more things. So, if you're this goes back to the relationship part. So if you're having a, you know, a discussion with your partner and it's not going to not feeling so good, they say I'm just, i'm just really frustrated right now. Well, i'm frustrated. To well, hold on a second. Define frustrated, like always. Say define frustrated. I just, i wish you would just care more. Define care, because when we just come with our own definition of whatever anything is, we might not be delivering the same definition for the other person. We might not deliver what they need or what they're.
Speaker 2:Even just to understand someone, someone could say, well, carrying just means listening more and not telling me what to do. Oh, i thought you meant carrying was like helping you wash your car and carry the groceries and do that. Okay, i'm just going to listen. All of a sudden it feels like love, you know. So it's really again that curiosity and getting clear. So when you're, when your godson says what is love or what does that mean, just say what do you think it means? Like open the floor, ask more questions, and then what does that feel like? Oh, and what does that feel like? Just be ultra curious.
Speaker 1:I love that And I love that if it's. If you've never had that conversation, you know, at least you can hear this and have it with your inner child today. I got a bunch of DMs when I put up yesterday that we are going to be chatting about this stuff, and I know that time is a ticking So we might like kind of radio show this a little bit, where I'm just going to throw some questions that you don't have to be the generous, beautiful gen that you are and go long and deep on these things.
Speaker 2:As in say less, give a few sentences. Well, for your sake, i mean, i'll say it all day.
Speaker 3:I love this.
Speaker 1:Okay, i think that one of the things that and I've sort of amalgamated these but one of the things that came up a lot was the grief of almost the grief of ghosting, the grief of really good dates and then absolutely no follow up. That that seems to be more of the realm. And and this is, you know, we're probably not going to do a full find the funny section, but this is where I find the funny a lot of the time is in these conversations. When I listen to these conversations I said they start going into relationship advice. You know, a little bit like we just said. I said relationship, there's nobody for me to practice that way, you know, maybe not that kind of laughing where it's like, yeah, grief is sort of you know more, like you can't get anything off the ground.
Speaker 1:And and one person, one person, larry, said how do you keep putting yourself out there having these like great dates getting dropped off at the bus, never hearing again, and then like continuing to put yourself out there like so it's like the balance of the grief. Well, you know, knowing that's something that you do want to keep going back out there, but just like, at some point you just feel like, okay, i'm just going to stop and I think a little bit What they were getting at was like it just seems easier to fall back into like hookup culture, you know, because you know you're putting yourself out there and it's just like this. But the I love that idea of like, the grief of like, almost like you're not, you didn't even have a relationship, you're not even getting there, you know and you do want that. You know what. What comes up.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, there's a. There's so many different angles in that I, yeah, i would say what comes up. What comes up is like I'm just remembering from like a long, long, long long time, like decades ago, when it was like like the old, you know, i guess, the grandfathers of personal growth, when they used to have on cassettes, we would get these like they would be full the folders that like. So you talked about growing up, going through school with phones. I didn't even have all through college. There was, still wasn't. We didn't have phones. I'm a little older than you, but but this was back in like I guess you know so many decades. I wouldn't even say but but it was these like binders that you open. There'd be like 12 tape cassettes that you put in and it gets you like how to you know close sales and whatever.
Speaker 2:But when it comes up that reminds me of this is it was like zig ziglar, someone like that, who said every no is one step closer to the yes. So never take the never. Never see a failure as a failure. See it as a step, a stepping stone to the next one. So when you're having these dates and when you're, you know, the off gets dropped off with the bus stop and whatever. Look for the successes within it and and look for how is this getting you closer to the yes? so if imagine there's like an imaginary, you don't see it, but there's the yes is so many dates, so many knows in the dates before you get to that, so just be like yes, okay, i got through another one. This is not my person, what you know, what worked and what's. You know what I want. Because when you fall back into that, that hookup culture, mindset, what are you? you know what frequency are you stepping into when you do that right? does that actually get you closer to what you want, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no exactly thanks, i know, but that's like but that's like punishing yourself by going that, but screw it, you know whatever. So instead keep doing it. Like keep doing it, but really you know it's one step closer to the yes. It's just be like oh okay, good, it's not my person, i'm glad to know now.
Speaker 1:So if I, if I say I'm going to tell them that they don't treat people like that, what do you say?
Speaker 2:Well, they do treat people like that. Clearly they do. Instead, maybe it's more like-.
Speaker 1:The taking on of. I'm going to tell them that I need to teach them something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's like watering a dead plant. Why are you giving your energy to that? Take that and thank you. I leave you with what is yours and continue forward. Take the high ground.
Speaker 1:What's the cost of looking at their Instagram every day?
Speaker 2:I mean okay, so now here, How's that?
Speaker 3:This is not just one date.
Speaker 2:This is not just one date. Yeah, that's, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 1:What do you say if you say I can't stop looking at their Instagram? I know that it's not a match, but I just can't. I just like they're tracking them, you know.
Speaker 2:Okay, i mean to be completely like, let's be serious about this, because, yeah, it is. What is it? So it always comes back to what do you want, like, what do you actually want? And if it's like this person, but what is it that you want from this person? Right, because it's getting to the essence of what do you want. This person represents, in your mind, what you want right now. Why is that? And is it actually this person? Or is it something you feel that when you're with this person or you get like, allow yourself to get super clear on what's really going on, like, on what you really what's like when you're, you know, cyber stalking this person on Instagram or whatever. You know what? what is it about them? Is it the rejection? They don't want me, so I want them more. I know that's a big thing for people. Is it just turn the mirror, focus on yourself. What is it? what is it that you really want? What is it about you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I find it fascinating because when my parents explained dating to me, you know like there's a chance you literally never saw someone ever again Like, because you could call the house phone, go to their door and if you didn't have a community with them like you would, you know. whereas we, like I, can still see everyone I dated in high school, what they're doing anytime. I want Like and like daily, you know it's. it's a really weird interesting thing of like the balance and like the sort of like well, we can be friends, but then that's just like in this knowingness of it all, like all the time, you know. So it is like an interesting thing And I think that for those of us in that and now we're all kind of in it because even if you came into it later, everybody has this access, you know, in a way.
Speaker 1:But I think that some people don't give grace around, like just not understanding, like the availability of this technology does not make it easier either, you know, to be able to just go. oh, I'll just see. And I think that if I was being really honest and I look back like a few years back, where that was like something I was doing a lot more, it was like can I, if I know what they're doing, then I can't be surprised?
Speaker 1:Or like it's like I'm still I'm so involved in some way. You know, i'm a. I'm a weird one because I really truly do try to find where everyone fits in my life And some people think that's a lack of boundaries And I think that's really the thing that I think is really important, and so I think that it's an important part of my life Because I think that don't want to lose it's my wealth. The people who are in my life And, you know, the same people who say it's a lack of boundaries are the same people being saying how do you have so many friends?
Speaker 3:And you know it's hard.
Speaker 1:you have to like listen, but then I can also see the other tinge of it, where it's like you're trying not to lose anybody else, you know, or I can, you know, bend and not be clear and give away my boundaries so that you know I can keep people in my life, you know. so it's like I don't want any, i don't want to feel the scoop, you know. so it's like what can I do to not feel the scoop? And it's like, oh well, we still have this semblance of a relationship, whether it's digital or you know, or I'm just going to let them do that and you know, whatever it is.
Speaker 1:But I think that comes up a lot with people who I think I've noticed a lot of people who lost one of their parents and if and for whatever reason, the same sex, like a woman losing her mother or a son losing the father, like you know that that's sort of not wanting to lose in that similar way from dating, and a lot of people just become completely like avoidant or anxiously attaching to everything. You know, it seems like it's sort of one or the other And it is hard because you know what. you've had these hard grief processes, you've had that scooped out feeling And even if it's like a fake full feeling, you know in your chest there's an innocent part of you that just wants that to go on and distract for as long as possible, and I think that's the instant gratification.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the instant gratification, but it's, it will never be a lasting fulfillment. But the and the thing is, we know that, like, we know that when we're doing the things that you know, like the, you know like, well, i'll just go see what they're doing again and you know, check, check this one or check that one, and again I would bring it back to ask yourself what am I getting from this? So, when you have that that fake full, what is, what is it that gives you that that filled up feeling a little bit? And then say, what else gives me that filled up feeling? So, again, like, what are other things in my life that give me that filled up feeling? What are the ones that instantly will give me that? And what are the ones that you know I can, you know, really work towards to get that over time, the benefits of, and so that again, it's that, that planning in advance, the prepaving, so that you know, okay, instead of getting on Instagram or whatever and going check in, i now I know I have these things that I can do instantly.
Speaker 2:I got the. I got the one minute thing I can do, i got the the one hour at the gym thing I can do. I got the all the in between. So there's, there's, you know, i mean, if you're gonna, if you're gonna do it, you're gonna do it, but be really honest with yourself, say it. I am going to go and look at name, name of the persons you know social media right now and I am going to see what they're doing. I am going to see who they're dating what, what photos there I want. I'm checking out there this part of their body. Like say all the things, like say it because it will really. You know, when you say things out loud, because it's but just with yourself, with yourself, it will, it will help you get clear on what's really going on Like my comedy brain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm checking to see if I'm looking like. If you really finished those sentences like what's happening, Maybe that would cut it pretty quick actually. Well, it's the, it's the honesty.
Speaker 2:It'll get you thinking And even if it doesn't make you stop it in that moment, it will get you thinking, as you go along with, of the next time you do it and you'll be like, okay, do I, do I really need this? Do I really? what else? you know what's going to serve me more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, And once again, this is it's a lot of work. It is, you know, and I just think, like whoever's out there doing it, a lot of credit, you know, especially if you were putting yourself out there and going through this like it is. it is, it's, it's definitely a lot of work. I have to ask you this question because it's such a good question. Yeah, What are effective ways to ask your friends for support after a breakup, even if they don't seem emotionally mature enough or capable to show up for you or offer quality advice or support?
Speaker 2:What are ways to ask your friends for support?
Speaker 2:Even if they're not emotionally mature enough, that's great. So I mean I would, i would bring a question back to you is what do you need? Like when you say, ask them for support, what are you needing from them? Because if you're needing words and that's not a words person and you know, not not the person to go to, there's tons of like videos and great advice online, but I think one thing is, if you think of energy movement right, like when we're down or or you know sad, it's dense energy, we're not really moving. So if you think of support after a breakup, it's like these are great people, that how you're kind of describing to like just go and do stuff with them, even just go and sit and let them talk incessantly about you know stuff that seems like nonsense to you because it's it. It's a pattern interrupt of the thinking and feeling sad and it gets your energy moving. So go do stuff, go do activities, whatever that is, or or something. That's what I would suggest. Is that where you think that Yeah?
Speaker 2:no, I think that's great Because if you try, if you try to get conversation from emotionally unavailable people, you're just going to get frustrated. No, that's why. That's why we have several friends And that's why I always say another thing about relationships is a great point to just stick in here is if we expect our person to be our everything, we're setting ourselves up for disappointment. That's why we have friends. That's like for me, it's like my partner. If I expect him to do everything for me, i'm going to be disappointed because he's not. He's not the, he's not the guy that's going to have a conversation about certain things that I have girlfriends for those conversations And some of my girlfriends certain conversations. I wouldn't have them with them. So I would have it with maybe my mom or you know some, my sibling or whatever. But that's where it's. Certain friends are great for certain things. You got your talk friends. You got your activity friends. you got your whatever. It's the same with your partner. Don't expect one person to be able to give you everything.
Speaker 1:I love this. The other friend question was how do you handle friend breakups? It seems dramatic to say I don't want to be friends anymore, but sometimes it's necessary. What's an effective technique to initiate that separation?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Those can be the hardest. Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think those are the hardest losing a friend, i think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you invest so much.
Speaker 2:I know, yeah, you're such a loyal friend. Yeah, well, the analogy that comes up for me is the reason season or lifetime. Right, people come into our lives for a reason a season or a lifetime. A lot of times I have to pay for my gas and whatever. There's a reason that person is there. A season would be like you go to school and you spend several months or years with certain people and then you all move away.
Speaker 2:Whatever Lifetimers are, like certain family members, notice, i didn't say all of them for people, certain family members, certain friends, certain But sometimes we try to make seasonal people lifetimers and we try to force it And it's kind of like the essence of everything we're talking about today. So to get to realize that this person that we thought was a lifer is just a season is like ah, like gets right in the heart, like oh, it's just like it's not working out. And how do you broach that conversation? And it really comes down to honoring the process, honoring the person, without getting into. It's never about pointing out what's wrong or what's lacking or what's missing, but pointing out what is and honoring that the best and saying, and so this has been great, this is amazing. Our relationship was really beneficial in this way. And now I'm feeling I'm feeling like going a different direction or I'm feeling this, but I really how can we honor this and go our separate ways, kind of.
Speaker 1:I know that sounds like, oh, that's so lovely But. I know it's almost like a part two of Are there? how do you break up with friends, people, in a way that sets them up To have the healthiest, easiest grief around it?
Speaker 2:you know like and I want to say, like to just be as clear as possible ask questions So say Do you, do you feel like we're growing in this relationship? I'm feeling there's not so much growth. I feel like up until now we had this growth or we had this way or we had this. Do you feel like that's not here anymore? Because maybe, maybe the other person is in a place and they, oh my gosh, you're right, and then they could snap out of it and then it could be great again. But if not, if it's just not going to be, ask them that and you can, and then see what they have to say. And I'm not feeling anymore. Here's the thing people will step up or they will step out, or they will. You know, they may try to force it and but you get to step out to say I'm going to step out now, with all of respect and best wishes.
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, being on the receiving end of anything is just. Sometimes people are trying to be nice, but it's like being as clear as possible, like yeah, this is really ending and I really don't want you to do anything, change anything. chase me like this is you know? and it's like it brings me back to something that you taught me. is that you know and I say this all the time is thanks for letting me know And truly thank you for letting me know that this isn't part of a game.
Speaker 1:This isn't, you know. It all gets mixed up too in like sort of what's you know what's pursuing and fun and sexy and what's like. This is pathetic, you know like it does get, and I know that a lot of people really struggle with that. I have to wind this down because I have to honor your time. I think this is a really cool question to finish because I think it brings it full circle. Back to those who are also maybe grieving death. But how? how soon is too soon? How does one measure that? What's the question? What's the balance of grief and putting yourself back out there? So I think this was was in for dating, but so you're actively grieving. But then also, how do you know when to you know, put yourself back up there? I have since to say I don't believe.
Speaker 2:I don't believe there's one answer for that question. I mean, for most questions I don't. I think I think anyone's truth is their personal truth. I think you know, based on I mean, you talked about the you know, like the, the hookup culture and that kind of thing there's a difference in going on a date for a date because you're really interested in this person. There's a difference between that and going on a date wanting to hook up. There's a, there's a different energetic alignment in yourself with that. So I would say, you know, ask yourself the question If I, if I get back in the game, is that what you said?
Speaker 2:Like go start dating again? So in the moment, it might be that instant gratification. I feel it's good to be around a person again, to be close with someone, to connect In the moment. Tomorrow, how am I going to feel at the end of the week? How am I going to feel a month from now? How am I going to feel? And so, not just choosing with the blinders on for right now, but knowing in the future and having that strength to honor all parts of yourself, including your future self, so that the pain you're feeling now, that you're looking for comfort from that pain by being with that person. Is it going to create more pain in the future By going? I really wish I didn't do that. And again it's back to what we were talking about before is love yourself, honor yourself, work on yourself, be the best version of you. Whatever you want from other people, whatever you think people should do, be that. Do everything you can to be that. And that there's where you start to get the most clarity and easy. Things come just so much easier.
Speaker 1:It almost feels like the theme of today for me is the willingness and the commitment to ask honest questions and give and receive honest answers from others And, but most importantly, from yourself, because I feel like in everything that you've said today, if I were to honestly or out loud ask myself, addison, what are you doing right now, you know, or what is this really?
Speaker 1:to really answer that and receive that And then make decisions based on that is just a lot different, But it's also very simple, you know. So what is this really? over here and lovingly and compassionately and like with curiosity, like you're saying, i think that is It's very empowering because you know, someone could just say, well, you'll know when you know. But in the digestion of this whole conversation, i truly believe you know, i know we know, you know, we know, we know.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love that. If people want to find a way to bring the Jennifer Merrifield into their lives, where can they find you? What? what's available right now? What are you doing over there?
Speaker 2:Yeah, ok, yeah, definitely come. I have a. My website is all shiny and brand new, so I would love even just come and give me feedback. Would be great. So that's my name, jennifer Merrifield dot com. One and Jennifer one are in Merrifield. And yes, i have Mastermind tribes. I have a one on one, coaching, obviously, and I have a very cool new thing happening That's going to be released in a couple of weeks, i would say at the latest. So, but I have a free Facebook group called Thrive Tribe Group, so come and join in there. That's always a great place to start. And yeah, i mean DM, whatever. Reach out Instagram. I'm not big on the socials other than in the private groups that I'm running, but but I always respond. So love to get any feedback and reach out.
Speaker 1:I love that. Well, thank you for coming to visit again. This has been fun, so nice, and I feel like we did find the funny throughout And I I love. I still have this, this idea of this show, where I just I just keep prodding you and I just ask all these questions Well, what about this, what about this?
Speaker 2:Like a child really.
Speaker 1:Like what about this? But?
Speaker 2:I just it's.
Speaker 1:It's so much fun for me as the music plays and we check out with one word. Mine is grateful. I will let you have the last word.
Speaker 2:Hmm, I'm going to match that, i'm going to say grateful as well. Thank you so much for coming today.
Speaker 1:Thank you Well, grief club. Thank you Well, grief club. that's the show. If you enjoyed it, please let us know by liking and leaving review. This will help as many people who may need what we're talking about. Find it the fastest, Remember to honor the journey And when that gets tough, find the funny.
Speaker 3:You've reached grief club, leave a message after the beep. Hey, grief club, it's Justin Michael Williams, and for those of you who wanted to meditate or learn to meditate, i just wanted to leave you this message to let you know that I have a free meditation album out that you can access on Spotify, apple Music and anywhere. There are 10 tracks for you to enjoy about feeling your feelings, getting shit done and taking action in your life. You can find it at MeditationForThePeoplecom. I love you. Talk to you soon.
